Port Charles is becoming a haven for useless characters.

It’s no secret that the ‘General Hospital’ cast is far too bloated – but things are really starting to get out of hand.

One of the biggest problems associated with the big cast is that all forward momentum is lost every two weeks or so.

Why?

Because then the writers shift to covering another set of characters.

Quite frankly, there are just too many characters to give everyone the time that they deserve. When was the last time we saw anything more than fleeting glimpses of Lucy, Kevin, Scotty and Laura?

When it comes to trimming the cast – I know fans have personal favorites that they don’t want to go. 

When it came time to compile my list, I tried to be as scientific as possible.

Essentially, I looked at each character, the actress or actor that plays them and what they can realistically offer fans and then I went from there.

The truth is, some hard choices are going to have to be made.

So, who needs to go?

Connie: Ron Carlivati has a thing for DID characters. The problem is, he overuses them. In the case of Connie, the storyline was never entertaining. From my point of view, Connie isn’t necessary to the canvas. You can lift her right out and no one would miss her. That’s a sure sign she needs to go.

Olivia: Other than Dante, who would miss Olivia? She has never been a front-burner character. And, quite frankly, the last few years of her tenure have bounced from tedious to ridiculous. I was never invested in her relationship with Steve and her “visions” are so absurd they’re comical.

Britt: This character never had a chance. She was painted as an evil devil from the minute she hit the canvas in an attempt to prop Sabrina. It’s too late for the character. I don’t believe the baby she is carrying is Patrick’s. I’m sure a DNA test will show that it is (for awhile), but I’m guessing it’s Lulu and Dante’s baby. This way, when Maxie blows them out of the water and keeps her baby – eventually, they’ll still get their baby.

Sabrina: If you can explain the appeal of this character to me, I’d greatly appreciate it. Sabrina is

whiny, obnoxious and naïve. She spent months mooning over Patrick – daydreaming like she was a teenage girl – and then she had a Disney Princess moment and suddenly the writers are trying to pretend that she is now mature. Guess what? I don’t buy it and it’s far too late. I don’t care. I am never going to get behind her and Patrick. He looks like a pedophile with her. And I am beyond sick of the Sabrina propping. Carlivati has proven he has his favorites – and he’s willing to prop them at the detriment of other characters. Essentially, Sabrina is the new Natalie.

Patrick: If you told me a year ago I would be clamoring for Patrick to leave town I would have called you a liar. That’s how badly Sabrina has hurt the character for me. I can barely stand to look at him. I think Carlivati should try to get Kimberly McCullough back for a few weeks, bring Robin home, and send Patrick and Robin off into the sunset. I don’t want to see Jason Thompson lose his job – but I cannot stomach him with Sabrina. It’s too awful and contrived.

Spinelli: I know Bradford Anderson has moved to recurring – but can we please just oust Spinelli from Port Charles for good? His schtick got old two weeks after he got to Port Charles and it’s still massively irritating. I’m not going to root for him and Ellie and I’m not going to root for him and Maxie. The only thing I’m going to root for where he’s concerned is a quick exit.

 

Ellie: I don’t get the point of the character. I had respect for her – for about five minutes – and then

the writing just got too convoluted for the character. Cut her loose. The actress is talented, let her get picked up by another show.

Felix’s sister: That’s how much I don’t care about this character. I can’t even remember her name.

 

Shawn: I like the actor. I think he’s hot. I think the character has great chemistry with Alexis. I can’t root for him now, though. They’ve made him a hitman for the mob. That doesn’t make him unique anymore. It just makes him lost. Drop his body in the harbor next to Jason's.

NuMorgan: He reminds me of another Carlivati air hog – the Ford brothers from OLTL. I didn’t like them either.

What do you think? Who should go to clear up space on the GH roster?

After the last Superman movie – you know the one – I think fans were expecting a lot from ‘Man of Steel.’

I think it’s fair to say that ‘Man of Steel’ is much better than ‘Superman Returns.’ But is that really saying much?

This go around, Henry Cavill steps into some mighty big shoes – and while he’s better than Brandon Routh (my cat would be a better Superman, seriously) he’s nowhere near Christopher Reeve. That may be an unfair comparison to make – but it’s still the truth.

As the steadfast hero, Cavill shows an impressive array of blandness. When he’s on screen, he’s most often blown away by the other actors (especially Michael Shannon as General Zod) and the cinematography.

Still, Cavill is not so bad that he ruins the movie. He doesn’t help it though, either.

I have never read a Superman comic – but I’ve seen every Superman movie and I was even a fan of ‘Smallville’ for a time. This version of Superman is missing something for me.

That something is heart.

Superman has always been a tale for the underdog. He’s always been a hero for the masses. And

Superman’s message? That has always been on of hope.

‘Man of Steel’ doesn’t have that. Any of that.

This is not the Superman that learns about human mortality from watching his adopted father succumb to a heart attack – something he can’t stop. This is the Superman that watches his adopted father get swallowed up by a tornado and does nothing because there’s a fear people will see his abilities.

That’s not a hero to me. If you’re going to be that paranoid, you might as well have a big pot field out in corn country – because you might as well be high if you’re going to turn Superman into a coward.

As far as the acting goes, Diane Lane and Kevin Costner anchor the movie as the Kents – while Shannon takes it to a manic level as Zod. Shannon really is the best part about the film.

Amy Adams has a fun introduction as Lois Lane – but then she devolves into a damsel in distress with blowing hair for the bulk of the movie.

The weakest link for me – and no, it’s not Cavill – is Russell Crowe. He shows no gravitas or strength as Jor-El. It’s more like he’s a Kryptonian ninja. It’s a little unsettling.

The film is directed by Zack Snyder – a man who is responsible for one of the only horror movie remakes I can stand (‘Dawn of the Dead’). He’s also responsible for the empty ‘300’ and the unwatchable ‘Watchmen.’ I’m thinking he might have been a little out of his depth here.

The truth is, Snyder tried to make Superman a grittier character. The problem is, Superman doesn’t

do gritty as easily as Batman, Wolverine and even Bruce Banner do. It changes the character when you try to make him gritty.

I’ve seen some complaints about the level of violence in the movie. That didn’t really bother me on a personal level – but that is not the Superman that I think most people would recognize.

Finally, I think my biggest complaint about the film is the plot. The movie runs about two and a half hours – and yet it only seems to have about an hour and a half of plot. The rest is filled with computer graphics and rescue scenes that really only serve to wow the audience with computer graphics.

For right now, I guess I’m going to compare it to ‘Batman Begins.’ To be fair, though, I think ‘Batman Begins’ was better than this. If Snyder can pull something akin to ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ out of his bag for the sequel –  I’m sure he’ll cement his place alongside other qualified action directors.

If he doesn’t, I hope they anchor him to a bench alongside M. Night Shyamalan and never let him up again..

What do you think? Did you like ‘Man of Steel’?

Pretending that HBO’s ‘True Blood’ is anything more than trashy fun at this point would be a misnomer.

The show started out in the first season with a chance to be great – but it quickly devolved into something that could never be considered “quality” television.

Still, there were flashes of greatness in the earlier seasons. The past two or three seasons, though, can only be described as a guilty pleasure.

The acting is still okay – and Anna Paquin still embodies Sookie with a sense of charm that is almost infectious – but the storylines are all over the place.

While the first season of the show stuck relatively closely to Charlaine Harris’ first book in the series, things shifted pretty quickly after that.

What’s interesting about the series – which returns for its sixth season Sunday – is that I find myself liking certain characters in the television series more than their book counterparts. Of course, the reverse is also true, too.

For example, I absolutely love Ryan Kwanten’s Jason on the show – and I spent a lot of my time hating him in the books. In Kwanten’s capable hands, Jason is a lovable goof that tries really hard --  while his book counterpart was a hound dog with a mean streak.

Rutina Wesley’s Tara is another character I love on the show but am indifferent to in the books. Of course, show Tara is so different from book Tara they’re essentially different characters.

On the flip side, I much prefer book Bill to Stephen Moyer’s brooding show Bill. I guess it’s a trade-off.

Last season wasn’t the best season – by any stretch of the imagination – but I preferred it to the previous season (season four). I understand that the show runners were hampered by Paquin’s real life pregnancy (which resulted in her giving birth to twins prematurely).

That being said, I think the show is making the same mistake the books did – and no, I’m not talking about over-propping the character of Eric (who I enjoy on the show much more than I did in the books). I’m talking about the focus on Sookie’s fairy powers.

Harris started to lose her way in the books when she spent too much time obsessing about Sookie’s fairy roots – and the show is having that problem, too.

The magic of Sookie is that she’s a down home girl with down home dreams. The constant fairy

frenzy detracts from the central likeability of the character.

The other problem with ‘True Blood’, at least in my opinion, is that the cast is too big (that’s my same complaint for ‘Game of Thrones’).

I don’t think you need the constant secondary storylines going on – Alcide’s story from the second half of last season would be a prime example. Keep everyone in the main narrative as much as possible.

Also, I don’t think that separate stories need to be set up for Sam, Lafayette and (especially) Terry and Arlene every season. Some of those stories have been terrible – including Terry’s fight with the Balrog.

‘True Blood’ is long past the days where it was considered high quality television. It can still be entertaining, though. The key is not to force things.

What do you think? Is there still hope for ‘True Blood’?

I wasn’t sure what to think when I decided to read ‘Reginald Baxter the Vigilante Vampire’ by J.E. Shook.

The cover was terrible.

The title was laughable.

The story . . . hey, the story was pretty good.

Yup, I’m just as surprised as you. I can’t believe I liked it either.

Essentially, Reginald Baxter is a reticent vampire that works at a nearby burger joint for minimum wage. Nope, I’m not making it up.

Reginald is meek and average – on just about every level imaginable. In fact, there’s nothing special about Reginald. If he wasn’t a vampire, he’d never do anything of accomplishment during his entire life.

So, it’s surprising to find that Reginald actually saves the day when he inadvertently gets involved in a holdup at the local check cashing place. Suddenly, Reginald is the city’s hero – only he doesn’t want to be identified.

Reginald’s “mother” is both encouraging and concerned. Reginald’s “daughter” is oblivious. Reginald’s “father” has always hated him – and he still hates him. Reginald’s co-worker – and the object of his desire – is bringing him chicken soup (which he can’t eat) and then telling some other guy on the phone that she loves him.

Yeah, even when he’s the hero it seems that Reginald can’t catch a break. And yet somehow Reginald finds self worth in his deeds.

That’s kind of what makes Reginald so lovable. 

Shook has constructed a fairly bland world and a fairly bland leading man that is so bland he actually becomes extraordinary. I know, it’s a pretty impressive feat.

Shook has a folksy way with the written word that draws the reader in while never overwhelming them. The prose is solid and there are only a handful of typos and grammar mistakes.

Basically, ‘Reginald Baxter and the Vigilante Vampire’ is one of those books that grabs you, entertains you and then lets you go.

It’s the perfect summer read.

‘Reginald Baxter and the Vigilante Vampire’ is available for $.99 on Kindle.

Not every book has to be a masterpiece.

Not every story has to be an opus.

Sometimes, fun is simply fun.

That’s the premise behind ‘Grade A Stupid’ by A.J. Lape.

The central heroine is Darcy Walker, a 15-year-old that is wise beyond her years – and yet still manages to struggle in school. Most everyone around her realizes that Darcy is actually too smart for her own good – and she’s actually bored. Darcy, though, has self-esteem issues and just chalks it up to being slow.

Darcy’s father, who she is on a first name basis with, seems to encourage his daughter and be frustrated by her at the same time. Murphy sees Darcy for what she is – but that doesn’t stop her from driving him to distraction.

Darcy’s school life is plagued by bully girls, no self-awareness, and a circle of friends that is mainly made up of guys.

You see, Darcy is beautiful and hot – but she doesn’t seem to realize it. Everyone else in the school does, and that’s one of my main problems with the book.

While I love the story and I love Darcy as a heroine, I don’t think it’s necessary for every single male in the book to stumble over themselves because she’s just so wonderful. It doesn’t ring true.

My other quibble with the story – and it’s the one thing that kept me from giving this book a perfect score – is the dialogue between Darcy and her best friend Dylan.

You see, Darcy and Dylan have best friends forever. Dylan is the hottest guy in school and every girl wants him – which means practically every girl hates Darcy and wants to take Dylan from her.

On the flip side, every guy in school likes Darcy and that makes Dylan jealous which causes him to lash out like he’s a wife-beater in training.

You see the problem? When  you compound that with the way the two talk to each other – constantly telling each other that they love each other in a corny way – you stumble across the only real flaw in the story.

I get that this is written for teenage girls and they like to romanticize things – but the dialogue between Darcy and Dylan isn’t even remotely believable. Neither is the way the interact with one another.

I know a lot of teenage girls wish boys would fall over them like the boys in this book do over Darcy – but that’s pretty much science fiction.

As an author, Lape paints delightful characters that are easy to relate to. All she needs to do is tone down the corny dialogue.

There are a few grammar issues -- but they're relatively minor.

The mystery at the center of the book is actually quite solid. As a reader, you have to suspend disbelief that Darcy manages to learn the things she does and get involved in the scenarios she does.

This is young adult fiction. You have to just let certain things go. I wouldn’t have loved movies like ‘The Goonies’ and ‘Gleaming the Cube’ as a kid if I wasn’t able to suspend my disbelief. That’s what you have to do with ‘Grade A Stupid.’

I think the true mark of a good book – especially if it’s in a series – is if you want to read the sequel right away. Just FYI, I finished ‘Grade A Stupid’ at 2 a.m. last night and immediately downloaded and started reading the sequel.

This is definitely worth the read if you like to laugh and  you don’t mind stories that aren’t grounded in too much reality – which is just the way I like my fiction.

‘Grade A Stupid’ is available for .99 on Kindle and $9.13 in paperback.